Today’s picture is from Effy Wild’s “Year of Mary” lesson. Each month she does a painting inspired by the poetry of Mary Oliver. This was the lesson for March and it created so many challenges for me. In fact, it’s been sitting on my art cart for about two weeks because I could not get her face done right or to what I was perceiving as “right.”
The whole process has been, messy and muddled, right to the very end.
And, it hit me, that this really is such a perfect metaphor for life and how we choose to handle the challenges presented to us. I’m not talking about toxic positivity in which we pretend that “bad things happen for a reason,” or that “God only gives us what we can handle.” All of that (waves in the air) is utter bullshit.
When I look at this art that I created, it brings to mind a few things: 1.) it is okay to walk away from things and 2.) it is also okay to come back to those things and try again and 3.) oftentimes, the results will be messy and complicated.
I’ve blogged a lot on here about the end of my 32 year marriage and how ugly, messy, and so very complicated it all was for me, my kids and even my ex-husband. As I’ve come through to the other side, I realize now that I was deeply unhappy for many years in my marriage. I was living a life that was a lie to myself, but it took walking through the storm of destruction and betrayal, to force my hand and ultimately leave. None of it was easy and a big part of why I didn’t leave, even after the betrayal, is because I didn’t want to be the one to blow up the family.
I’m now living a life I never thought possible and it certainly would not have been possible had I stayed married to my ex because we both had very different visions of how we wanted to live the latter half of our lives. I longed to travel, explore, create. These are all part of my life now. Even more important, I’m loved fiercely by a man who loves me as messy and complicated as I am. And, even none of this would be possible if during the end of my old life, I didn’t do the work on me that was absolutely necessary to do.
So, Good Morning, sweet friends. Embrace life for all it’s messy, complicated, gift that it is.