July
July 12, 2019It’s been two years since my life changed in a way that I never anticipated. I still struggle with being alone. I still struggle with this new reality. So much has changed over these past two years. I think it’s hard when you are forced to make a decision that you never wanted nor anticipated. And again, I struggle because I think I should be further along and that I shouldn’t miss my old life (and him) so much. So I’m kind of feeling stuck at the moment. Which means I probably need to do something to kick-start me in…
limitations
My brother called me stupid All the time when I was a little girl I now have a bachelor and a master’s degree My husband said he couldn’t stand the sound of my voice at the end of our marriage…
Change
Sometimes change happens, even if you don’t want it. If you have been reading my blog for any length of time, you know that I was thrust into a change that I never anticipated, nor wanted. And I’m still working…
Forgive
I’ve thought a lot about forgiveness over this past year and a half. I am not there yet for more than a few people in my life. And I don’t think I will ever be there for my brother. What…
She/Her
She is soft-edges Scars criss-crossed on her heart Her eyes smile Betraying the depth of Pain inflicted on her soul She is strength Hardened by words spoken to break her Her smile is warmth Sadness supressed Uncorked, bubbling beneath the…
I’ve done a thing
Something that I have done a lot of over the year and half since the ex dropped the bomb is listen to podcasts. There are a lot available out there to listen to and cover everything from politics, true crime…
Nothing Justifies Bad Behavior
I belong to a few divorce groups, some are women only and others are a combination of men and women. When I first started on this divorce journey, I mostly sought out groups that were about healing and recovery. There…
Darkness and Light
The last few weeks have been really tough for me for some reason. I was in a dark place. I don’t know if it’s the because of the weather which has been really wet, a few weeks of insomnia, or…
Flower
Turning inward, shriveled petals Seeking the nurturing power of loving Words never spoken You are beautiful and you are loved. Small, powerless, wilted and bent Deprived of sustenance needed to grow Into magnificence You are beautiful and you are loved.…
Suck it up Buttercup!
When you start missing him, you need to remind yourself of the torture he inflicted upon you. Someone who claims to love and care about another would not have done what he did. You need to remind yourself that you…
Dating and Loving Yourself
While dating, I am also working on myself. The damage done during the end of my marriage brought up a lot of trauma that I had managed to bury for many years.