Feeling the Music

My first love

Stories have been told about how when I was very little, I would lie in my crib and sing gibberish to myself. I’m sure I understood the words even if no one else could. I love singing. It was my first creative outlet. And when my kindergarten teacher yelled at me for not cutting a piece of felt correctly and thus, I turned away from being an artist who created with my hands, I always knew I could sing and my creativity was expressed through music.

I took about 2-1/2 years of piano and played the violin for a short time as well. I always found my people whenever I started a new school by joining choir. I sang every chance I could get, much to the annoyance of my older brother who would chide me for singing to the radio or whatever music was playing from the boombox. My feet start moving when a song comes up that I can feel in my bones. It’s always been this way.

When my kids were little I sang to them. I’m sure there were times when they were annoyed as well. It is my first love and it brings to mind memories, good and bad. When I was dating my ex-husband, I wrote him a letter using some of the lyrics to “Faithfully” by Journey. We lived about 90 minutes away from each other when we first started dating. This is a song that brings bittersweet memories to me.

Both “Delta Dawn” by Tanya Tucker and “Country Roads,” by John Denver brings memories of me singing with my cousin into the handle of hairbrush as we stood on our “stage” in front of the fireplace. When the song “What’s Up,” by 4 Non-Blondes came out in the 90s, I remember singing that in our backyard to the kids in my home-based child care. Oh, that song, spoke to me in so many different ways. For me, it was an anthem of figuring out who I wanted to be when I grew up and it helped start my path of going back to school and trying to become the woman I wanted to be in the world.

When I was in ninth grade, I sang “What I Did for Love,” from the musical “A Chorus Line.” I was the only person that night to receive a standing ovation. I was never scared when I sang before people. I remember feeling like I was where I was meant to be at that moment. I think it’s one of the few times in my life where I felt truly alive and in the moment.

I’m fortunate to now be with a man who appreciates my love for music. If we are out somewhere and a song comes on that makes me want to move, he won’t hesitate to dance with me, even if we are the only ones doing so. My latest obsession is “Dance Monkey,” by Tones and I. I love the quirkiness of this song and it makes me want to move. When my husband and I were at dinner last Friday while in Cabo, there was a band playing. I looked around to people oblivious to the music around them. I’m always aware of the music playing and I very literally cannot stop myself from moving to the beat. As we were leaving, “Dance Monkey” came on and we danced for a bit before leaving.

Everytime I hear “Hallelujah” by Leonard Cohen, it gives me chills. The lyrics to this song are powerfully beautiful. Dolly Parton’s “I Will Always Love You” makes me thankful for her brilliance. And if you ever have a chance to go see Dolly, do it. She is a living legend and listening to her tell the stories around her songs is something you won’t forget.

There are so many songs that speak to my heart and soul. There are many songs that I could write about and the different ways they speak to me or spark a feeling inside or bring me back to a moment. It’s a love affair that I will have until my last dying breath.

Feeling the Music
Some people hear the music while others FEEL it.


  1. Cheryl Turtlemoon says:

    Music and song are so important! I love how you sing for the joy of it! Country roads is special to me, and my husband knows a lady who is a professional Dolly impersonator, endorsed by the lady herself. Dolly is such a great songwriter as well as being a lovely person it seems. Keep on singing!

    1. I would love to see the Dolly impersonator! I agree that Dolly is a gift to humanity. I was so excited when I found out my Moderna covid vaccine had been partially funded by her. It’s the Dolly vaccine as far as I’m concerned.

  2. Deb M says:

    oohhh this is so fabulous! A connection to music is such a blessing I feel and to share that with your partner, I felt joy just reading about it!
    Oh man, “Delta Dawn”! That was my jam back in the day!
    I love singing Hallelujah, even tho no one else loves me singing it! lol
    thank you for your share!

    1. I believe in singing, even if you don’t think anyone else enjoys it. The thing about art that I’ve discovered is that we need to do this for ourselves more than anyone else.

  3. Oh I love this! Sing, sing, sing! Do you make up songs during the day with what you are doing? That happens to me a lot. Did you ever go to karaoke? I feel the music too and look at those who are oblivious.

    1. I did Karaoke for the first time a few months before the pandemic hit. Actually, it was better than Karaoke as it was with an actual piano player and she would urge me to sing more with her. It was wonderful to be singing to a crowd again.

  4. Lisa says:

    I love this too! You can hear the love and passion for music and song in your words. Don’t ever stop singing. I’m the person in the crowd that will admire you for getting up and dancing no matter where you are.

    1. Too many years, I spent not dancing. I am making up for lost time. Thank you for your wonderful take on this.

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