• blog,  divorce,  Thoughts,  Write Into Light

    Suck it up Buttercup!

    When you start missing him, you need to remind yourself of the torture he inflicted upon you. Someone who claims to love and care about another would not have done what he did. You need to remind yourself that you are worth so much more than the love he chose to give when he felt like giving it as if you earned it for being good, dutiful, obedient. Suck it the fuck up. Stop giving away your power. Your tears are gifts that should be bestowed on a man who values the creature that you are, not the one he…

  • blog,  divorce,  poetry,  Thoughts

    Choices

    We all have choices. I have chosen to fight for myself. I am worthy of that. If you cannot be a warrior by my side. And let the enemy enter the gate, You have chosen to fight against me. And…

  • blog,  poetry,  Thoughts

    Amputation

    A part of my heart has been amputated,removed by the scalpel of his words,leaving me wanting for the phantom of our future that is no longer and never will be. A part of my heart has been amputated,it beats differently…

  • blog,  divorce,  separation,  Write Into Light

    Mosaic

    (Note: this is a piece I wrote for a course I’m doing by Martha Beck called “Write Into Light”.) Dear Broken One, I can see that you have loved a man for many years. Even though throughout the years, there…

  • divorce,  Grief,  Thoughts

    You could never forgive me

    That is the last e-mail you sent to me and it has made me angry. My therapist has asked me when I’m going to be angry with you and I think I’m getting there. I am angry because while you…

  • blog,  Dating,  new life,  Thoughts

    Let’s be exclusive!

    A couple of men I have dated and who I felt there was a connection to seemed to want to be “exclusive” right away. According to Urban Dictionary, the definition for exclusiveness in a dating relationship means the following: The state…

  • Adventures,  blog,  Dating,  divorce

    adventures in dating

    Back in February of this year, I decided to take the plunge and explore the world of online dating. Truthfully, I never thought that this would be a world that I would be a part of because I never imagined…

  • divorce,  Grief,  Thoughts

    The Maze

    There are times when I feel like I’m not making any progress as I work through this grief. I worry that some people think I should give over it already (including the stbx) and are just tired of me talking…

  • blog,  divorce,  Grief,  Thoughts

    Death by a Thousand Cuts

    When my  soon to be ex (stbx) informed me on July 2nd, 2017, that we (meaning he) was done, I literally felt like I couldn’t breathe. If he had stood in front of me and punched me in the stomach,…