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Meanderings 1

We celebrated Thanksgiving again this year by ourselves. It was our second one together and I was hoping that we wouldn’t be repeating last year’s Thanksgiving of it just being us. Thanks to COVID and people not adhering to the guidelines, here we are. That being said, I was surprised to learn the impact I …

I’ve done a thing

Something that I have done a lot of over the year and half since the ex dropped the bomb is listen to podcasts. There are a lot available out there to listen to and cover everything from politics, true crime to self help. Prior to the bomb drop, I was partial to true crime podcasts, …

this dating thing can suck

I got married young. I met the ex at the age of 19 and married him at the age of 20. I can count on one hand the number of guys I dated prior to meeting the ex and I would have a couple of fingers left. That’s how inexperienced I am with this whole …

You could never forgive me

That is the last e-mail you sent to me and it has made me angry. My therapist has asked me when I’m going to be angry with you and I think I’m getting there. I am angry because while you seek my forgiveness, you have never forgiven me for my one transgression against you. Your …

The Maze

There are times when I feel like I’m not making any progress as I work through this grief. I worry that some people think I should give over it already (including the stbx) and are just tired of me talking about it. There are many times when I feel like I’m doing well and ready …

Death by a Thousand Cuts

When my  soon to be ex (stbx) informed me on July 2nd, 2017, that we (meaning he) was done, I literally felt like I couldn’t breathe. If he had stood in front of me and punched me in the stomach, I think I would have preferred that momentary pain than the pain he inflicted for …

An open letter

Dear M, I’ve thought a lot about writing this letter to you. I’m conflicted because I don’t want to pay attention to you and have you think that you are a constant presence in my life. Trust me when I say that I no longer think about having revenge on you or that I think …

Update on my life

There has been a lot going on with me since my last update. I have more good days than bad days, but I’ve been able to power through on the bad days and make it to the next, embracing it for the gift that it is.  I have to keep reminding myself that my Betty …

When Life Throws You a Curveball

On July 2nd, 2017 my life took a very unexpected turn when my husband of 31 years told me he no longer wanted to be married. I’m not going to go into the details for his decision because as of right now, we are still married. It came as a surprise to me for which …

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