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this dating thing can suck

I got married young. I met the ex at the age of 19 and married him at the age of 20. I can count on one hand the number of guys I dated prior to meeting the ex and I would have a couple of fingers left. That’s how inexperienced I am with this whole …

Mosaic

(Note: this is a piece I wrote for a course I’m doing by Martha Beck called “Write Into Light”.) Dear Broken One, I can see that you have loved a man for many years. Even though throughout the years, there have been many happy times, both have you have also seen many struggles that might …

You could never forgive me

That is the last e-mail you sent to me and it has made me angry. My therapist has asked me when I’m going to be angry with you and I think I’m getting there. I am angry because while you seek my forgiveness, you have never forgiven me for my one transgression against you. Your …

adventures in dating

Back in February of this year, I decided to take the plunge and explore the world of online dating. Truthfully, I never thought that this would be a world that I would be a part of because I never imagined that the ex would cheat on me with a co-worker, move in with her and …

The Maze

There are times when I feel like I’m not making any progress as I work through this grief. I worry that some people think I should give over it already (including the stbx) and are just tired of me talking about it. There are many times when I feel like I’m doing well and ready …

Death by a Thousand Cuts

When my¬† soon to be ex (stbx) informed me on July 2nd, 2017, that we (meaning he) was done, I literally felt like I couldn’t breathe. If he had stood in front of me and punched me in the stomach, I think I would have preferred that momentary pain than the pain he inflicted for …

An open letter

Dear M, I’ve thought a lot about writing this letter to you. I’m conflicted because I don’t want to pay attention to you and have you think that you are a constant presence in my life. Trust me when I say that I no longer think about having revenge on you or that I think …

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