I finally finished the painting I started the other day. It is from Effy Wild’s “Year of Mary. There were a number of times where I was feeling frustrated with this girl and wanted to throw it in the bin. I decided to start talking to her lovingly and thinking nice, lovely thoughts towards the painting and this girl. She finally started to emerge in the way that was pleasing to me. There’s a lesson, here, right? Most of us engage in negative talk, which doesn’t do any lick of good, other than to bring more negativity into ourselves and into the greater world. How much better we all could be if we started talking more positively towards ourselves and others.
My son and his wife received truly wonderful news today. My son has been approved to adopt my granddaughter. This has been a four year struggle with lots of uncertainty along the way. The sperm donor is a real piece of work. He did some truly awful things and frankly, should have been stripped of his parental rights way sooner. Unfortunately, the original judge involved is one of these extreme “dad rights” judicial activists. Even though my son and daughter-in-law have been the primary caregivers and the sperm donor never paid any type of support for the seven and half years my granddaughter has been alive, this judge was horrendous towards my son and daughter-in-law. Things only started to change once the sperm donor’s dad finally was willing to acknowledge that his son has serious issues and was willing to testify to that fact.
She’s always been my granddaughter and my son’s daughter – it’s just legal now.
My new husband hurt my feelings today and I was triggered by something that happened at the end of my first marriage. I’m going to have to talk to him about it after I sit on it for a couple of days. Again, talking about my feelings is very difficult for me. Rejection for what I’m feeling is always at the back of my mind. That is, am I still lovable if speak about what I’m feeling? It’s a silly notion, but there it is.
We are off for another week-end adventure tomorrow. We are meeting up with a couple to camp out at a wildlife safari. It’s really glamping according to them. They’ve been there before. Lots of birds and other wildlife from parts of Africa and I was told that the birds and lemurs can be quite vocal. We will eat picnic type food, enjoy margaritas, wine, and games as we listen to the sounds of the park. Plans for Saturday are still up in the air, but we have plans to go out to dinner and then stay the night at this couple’s house. Somewhere, the new husband will get in some golf.
I’m going to do as Mary Oliver says and give into joy this week-end. How about you?