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So yeah, I got married

I literally found my match on Match – or rather, he found me. After spending about a year and a half on dating websites, I received a message from a man about 14 years older than me. The message alluded to the fact that he was out of my age range of what I had in my preferences, but he was hopeful that I would give him a chance.

I took a look at his profile and what he had written about himself. (For anyone dating and on dating websites, writing a good profile is key to finding someone worthwhile.) The part that stuck out the most for me was that he had been married for 48 years and he was a widower. I wanted to find out more. I sent him a message back and after texting each other a few times, we agreed to meet about two days later. He earned even more points when he agreed to drive out to meet me, rather than me having to drive to meet him. I don’t expect men to do all the work when pursuing a woman, but admittedly, these small gestures add up!

We agreed to meet at a local bookstore/coffee shop that was close to my place. It was on a Friday afternoon. Another dating tip that I learned was to set a time limit on the first date and have plans lined up so you can end it. This works for two purposes: 1) if it’s a bad date, you can leave and 2.) if it’s a good date, he/she won’t mind and will most likely want to see you again. Also, if they get upset that you have plans, it serves another purpose, you know early on that this is a person you may not want to spend more time with (because we all know that we put on our best fronts when we first meet someone).

He arrived first and was sitting near the back at a table. I walked in and my first thought was he looked better in person than his pictures. He has really beautiful blue eyes and salt’n pepper hair. I walked to where he was sitting, introduced myself and sat down. We talked for a straight two hours. Time flew by, but in those two hours, I learned so much about him and I knew that I wanted to see where this would go. I had plans to meet a girlfriend afterwards, so I ended the date. He was very gracious and he walked me outside.

About fifteen to twenty minutes later, I received a text from him. He said in the text that he wasn’t sure about the proper protocols and that he was hoping he wasn’t breaking any of them, but that he wanted to see me again. I was going away the next day for an overnight trip with some other girlfriends, but I told him we could get together again when I returned on Sunday. That Sunday we met again and we have not been apart since then.

I moved in with him about three months later and exactly one year after our first date, he asked me to marry him. We got married on October 16th.

I truly never expected any of this. I am thankful that he took a chance to message me

5 Comments

  • Debbie in Texas

    LOVE THIS UPDATE! Haven’t actively been looking for anyone but it’s nice to know that there are wonderful men out there! Looks like you hit the jackpot with this one! Post more pictures. Congrats!

  • Margaret Grieve-Fent

    I met a widower on Match too, and too soon emotionally after the end of my 2 year prior relationship. But I didn’t want to pass up on a potentially wonderful man. As you said, it’s all about the profile and how and what they write. I’m glad you met him and that you’re so happy together. It’s trite to say that life is short, but it IS and we need to grab the moments when we can. Does he have kids and if so, have they accepted you? How about your children?

    • christal

      Oh we definitely need to grab the moments when we can. It’s why we decided to get married a year after meeting and married two months after he asked. He is 14 years older than me (he will be 70 in January) and there were financial considerations he wanted to put in place as well. As far as our kids go, I met his son. He has/had two daughters – one is deceased and the other is not talking to him. His son isn’t either. Neither one of them is happy with him for moving on with his life. He took care of his wife for the last fourteen years of her life as she battled a serious illness. He loved her dearly and yet, his kids don’t want him to be happy. My kids have met him and they all approve. My boys attended the wedding and gave me away. They know what a dark place I was in at the end of my marriage to their dad and are all very happy that I am happy again. As my daughter told my new husband, “thank you for bringing the smile back to my mama’s face.”

  • Margaret Grieve-Fent

    That is such a shame that his family isn’t supportive. Our hearts are big and we can care about many different people. Otherwise, we couldn’t love more than one of our children or friends. I will never understand those who feel threatened by love and happiness.

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